on living your best life…

update: so, it’s become apparent that yesterday’s post may, to some, have been interpreted as a bit of a negative one… rest assured, it wasn’t intended that way at all, in fact quite the opposite… rather than a rant about what’s wrong in my life, yesterday’s post was about resolving to switch things up a gear & make some changes for the better {it’s a yearly stocktake thing i do}…

just to allay any fears, i actually had a very pleasant birthday: it wasn’t an overwhelmingly amazing or “best birthday ever” kind of a day, but not a bad day either… but i do understand that without some further context my reference to being po’d with myself for not celebrating how i had planned suggested otherwise…

so, here’s the back story: about six years ago, when i was working in a particularly hideous job & my birthday was looming, i made the promise to myself that each year on my birthday i would travel to somewhere i’d never been… it was a promise intended to push myself to try & do something new & reengage with an activity {travel} that makes me feel alive & inspired…

including the year i made that promise to myself i have, so far, managed to travel somewhere new on my birthday once: that’s right, one time out of six… now, even for a rookie that’s a pretty crud batting average, you’d have to agree…

& so it is that each year i have not fulfilled my promise i find myself, at some point in the day, cursing myself for not following through… that is not to suggest that i’ve derived no enjoyment from any of my past five birthdays or that i blame anybody else for my poor form… nor is it intended to diminish the efforts of any third party in contributing to my birthday enjoyment…

it was merely meant as a statement of fact… i promised something, but didn’t deliver… & now i intend to correct that as part of living my best life…

that’s it & that’s all…

*     *     *

another little diversion from design today, but do bear with me…

none too surprisingly, as is the case with most birthdays, i find myself in a somewhat reflective mood today…

& to be honest, i’m feeling a little po’d with myself that once again on this, the anniversary of my birth, i find myself not following my dreams & celebrating in the way i promised myself i would celebrate*…

&, because i’m in a reflective mood, it has occurred to me that that same notion could be extended to include my life in general at the minute {blog included}…

this is made all the more frustrating because i’ve actually spent the past few years actively trying to shape my life into one that fulfills me & makes me want to get out of bed on a morning {or early afternoon}…

but i guess what i’m discovering is that, like the titanic, this ship won’t turn on a dime: in other words, it takes a long time to get your life on the right track after years of steering the wrong course…

case in point, it’s almost a year now since i did what i always do when i don’t know what i’m doing & signed-up for yet another course: i enrolled in the decor8 blogging your way course…

i had known for a while that i wanted to author a blog & whilst i wasn’t sure exactly what shape my blog would take, what its content would be or where it would lead, what i did know is that i wanted my blog to encourage me to live my best life… afterall it makes sense doesn’t it, that if you’re living your best life then exceedingly fabulous blog content will follow?

but, nearly ten months down the blogging line, i would have to concede i’m still nowhere near where i would like to be…

i spent the first six months of blogging willing myself to publish something, anything, each & every day in order to a) form the habit of writing & b) break my aversion to actually publishing something {i’m a perfectionist}…

tick & tick…

but for the past four months i feel a little like i’ve been in freefall, desperately hoping the parachute will open before i land flat on my face… & looking back, i realise that i’ve slipped back into old, old habits & have been hoping that, by some miracle, my life {& hence blog} was going to take some great turn for the better without my having a hand in it doing so: a little like an actor waiting to be “discovered” whilst sitting on their sofa, bowl of cereal in hand & watching daytime soaps all day, every day…

so today, here & now, i’m formalising a commitment to do something about it in order to live a better life &, as a by-product of such, to write a better blog…

in order to do so i may need to take a little time out here & there to figure out what direction i want to steer this ship in…

& so, in short, i might not write as often as i used to {having said that, in releasing myself of the obligation i may find myself motivated to write even more} & there may be some changes afoot in my blog content & style…

but one thing i hope will remain a constant is your support, so please do stick around for the ride…

*{please note, this is no pity party… i’ve spent today with the person who brought me life, have had a lovely birthday brunch, been bought birthday flowers & received loads of well wishes & i’m soon to be whisked off to a lovely birthday dinner… so i’m definitely not complaining!}

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8 thoughts on “on living your best life…

  1. Well, first order of business, Happy Birthday!! It does sound like you’ve celebrated well so far and have been spoiled rotten as you should be on a day like today. But I also think you shouldn’t beat yourself up over what you’re feeling! Though if that includes releasing yourself from your self-imposed blogging obligations, I guess i’ll just have to understand 😉 I’m here no matter what and I look forward to seeing where this little revelation takes you. xoxo

    • thank you love… i’m not going anywhere, but going to be a bit more considered going forward… i’ve been a lazy blogger, but if i’m going to do something i need to do it well… so onwards & upwards! thank you for your continued support, it means a bundle!

  2. Oh that’s such a great analogy about the turning on a nickel, that’s so true. You just think you can drop everything and switch but life has a habit of getting in the way.

    Interesting how we’ve all taken the pressure off blogging every day, Other than Erin, it’s a stupid rule (imposed implicitly by BYW!) that helps no one. Just write when you have something to say and the time to write it. I’ve not noticed a denigration in any of our blogs since everyone cut back. Having said that I think the daily thing is good to do for a whole to get you in the habit of posting frequently.

    Good luck Sue! Interested to see where pure headed and am with you 100% of the way x

    • thanks annie… i actually want content i can be proud of instead of churning out crud for the sake of it… so i really need to sit down & think about what i want to achieve & say & use this as an extended portfolio… let’s see where i end up… gulp!

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